Interesting article by Elizabeth Bernstein in the Wall Street Journal today. (Aug 27, 2013) Especially for a lot of Serial Daters, Narcissists and people unable to move on.
It also supports an old saying in Babylon: “The future is the darkness behind our backs; the past is the light that lies visible in front of us.”
The method, called Time Perspective Therapy, involves figuring out which of six different outlooks a person has: past-positive (you love the past); past-negative (you have regrets and bad things happened in your past—or things that you now exaggerate as bad); present hedonism (you enjoy the present and like to reward yourself); present fatalism (you feel that events are beyond your control, so why bother?); goal-oriented future (you plan ahead and weigh the costs and benefits of any decision); transcendental future (you live a good life because you believe the reward is a heaven after death).
The best profile to have, says Philip Zimbardo, psychologist and professor emeritus at Stanford University, is a blend of a high level of past-positive, a moderately high level of future orientation and a moderate level of selected present hedonism.
In other words, you like your past, work for the future—but not so hard that you become a workaholic—and choose when to seek pleasure in the present. Dr. Zimbardo, an influential thinker in this field who lectures widely, administers a 56-item questionnaire to determine a patient’s profile.